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Obama: Straight Men Need Gay Men?
Obama just said straight men, and especially Black boys, need gay role models. Some call it powerful. Others call it wild. What’s really going on here?
Dale Harris
July 22, 2025
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Good morning, BFA Fam! Some tragic news to start: The Cosby Show alum Malcolm-Jamal Warner has died at age 54 after reportedly drowning, according to TMZ. A beloved figure in Black television and culture, his presence shaped a generation. Rest in peace to a true icon.
MAIN STORY
🔥 Obama Faces Backlash for Saying Black Boys Need Gay Men in Their Lives
⚡ THE SPARK
“Black boys need gay men in their lives.” That’s the quote from Barack Obama that set the internet on fire this week, and had many Black fathers shaking their heads. What was meant to be a progressive reflection turned into a cultural flashpoint, with thousands accusing the former president of disrespecting Black masculinity.
In a conversation on Michelle Obama’s podcast, Obama spoke about the impact a gay professor had on him in college and suggested that boys, especially Black boys, benefit from having people like that around. The timing? Intentions? Maybe well-meaning. But the way it landed? Not so much.
🧠 THE LAYER BELOW
Many Black men heard Obama’s words as dismissive of the father figures already doing the work in their homes and communities.
There’s a difference between promoting empathy and implying that straight, masculine role models are somehow incomplete.
Black boys don’t need less masculinity, they need healthy, grounded masculinity rooted in discipline, protection, and self-respect.
Emotional development doesn’t require a gay mentor, it requires presence, purpose, and love, which can absolutely come from traditional fatherhood.
Obama has long backed LGBTQ+ causes, endorsing gay marriage, repealing Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, and even appearing in Out Magazine as a sitting president.
Just a few months ago, Obama suggested that Black voters, especially men, who didn’t support Kamala Harris were motivated by misogyny, drawing criticism for generalizing Black political views.
To some, these repeated moments create a pattern: when Obama addresses the Black community, it often comes with correction, not celebration.
The backlash now is less about one quote and more about a growing frustration that traditional Black values are constantly being asked to shift to fit a progressive mold.
🎯 THE REAL QUESTION
At what point does “evolving” manhood start to erase the kind of masculinity our boys actually need?
🔮 WHAT’S NEXT
Obama’s intentions may have been rooted in inclusion, but intention doesn’t erase impact. Many Black men are tired of hearing that their way of showing up is outdated. It’s not about resisting growth, it’s about protecting the kind of structure that’s already proven powerful for generations.
We can teach boys empathy and strength. But we shouldn’t have to downplay masculine presence to do it.
Growth should never mean erasing what made us strong. It should mean sharpening it.
CAST YOUR VOTE
Was Obama out of line for saying that? |
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THE FLIP SIDE
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